Why do the Marilyns seem to have it all?
Updated: March 29, 2012 3:42PM
Here’s Judy’s pick of coming community activities in the Northbrook area, spiced with a little commentary.
Advice: Never let a former college roommate visit. The movie “My Week With Marilyn” (rated R) will be shown at 1 p.m., and again at 7:30 p.m., March 28 at the Northbrook Public Library, 1201 Cedar Lane. Admission is free. For more information call (847) 272-6224.
“My Week With Marilyn,” is about Marilyn Monroe, but I, too, had a week with a Marilyn — Marilyn Totally-Ostentatious (not her real last name), who blabbed on about being CEO of a major corporation whilst raising seven children — all gifted; having a husband, “who ADORES me and for whom I stay so slim by winning marathons”; and that, because of having so many designer outfits, she keeps a separate apartment as a closet. I countered with being a total sloth; having a hero who professes mild affection for me — sometimes; raising two kids — both gifted in not cleaning their bedrooms; and owning a disgusting purple poncho I can’t even give away. She left — I pondered major depression, but had bedrooms to clean.
I win, as usual. Svetlana Belsky and Elena Doubovitskaya will perform works by Modest Mussorgsky, Sergei Rachmaninoff and others as part of the Two Piano/Four Hand concert series at 2 p.m. March 25 at the Northbrook Public Library, 1201 Cedar Lane. Admission is free. For more information call (847) 272-6224.
So Mr. Mussorgsky insists on the adjective “Modest” in front of his name so everyone will know upfront how humble he is … what? Modest is his real first name? Maybe so, but his friends tell me that “Show-off Mussorgsky” is more like it. … what? He died in 1881 and why am I making all this up, as usual? Well … answer me this — why isn’t he called Dead Mussorgsky? Huh? Gotcha, didn’t I
Judy’s idea of exercise. Looking for an intense workout in a short amount of time? Check out the new Express Boot Camp with Casey from 5:45 to 6:30 p.m. Tuesdays at the North Suburban YMCA, 2705 Techny Road in Northbrook. For more information contact Marlo Leaman via e-mail at email@example.com.
Dear North Suburban YMCA: You ask the rhetorical question: “Looking for an intense workout in a short amount of time?” To which I answer, “Are you kidding?” I’m looking for a non-intense workout that lasts, say, a year, and consists of one push-up a day, which I possibly (no promises) can accomplish. Perhaps no one else on the planet would call this a workout, but no one asked them, or you, and I pay my taxes. See what you can do. Sincerely, Judy “And Don’t Even Mention Jumping Jacks. Ever” Brinkworth.
Cowabunga! Dave Rudolf¹s Beach Bash, for families, will take place 10 to 11 a.m. March 24 at the Northbrook Public Library, 1201 Cedar Lane. Have a great time hula-hooping, limbo-ing and singing along with Grammy nominee Rudolph, while the ultimate bubble machine creates a cool beach atmosphere. For more information call (847) 272-6224.
At this Beach Bash, I’m going as Annette Funicello and spray my hair ‘til my face moves without it and be perky as perky can be (which is pret-ty perky, let me tell you!), and I told my hero to go as Frankie Avalon and stand in front of a movie screen that shows lots of waves and bend from side to side so it looks like he’s surfing – like Frankie did in Beach Blanket Bingo. He refused. “Fine,” I said, “but you’re no longer my Big Kahuna.” So there.
My presence is not requested. Pool passes go on sale March 26 at the Leisure Center and Northbrook Sports Center, with reduced fees for early registration. Passes allow unlimited admission to Meadowhill Aquatic Center and the Northbrook Sports Center Pool during pool hours in the 2012 season. Passes can be renewed online now at www.nbparks.org if no changes are needed to last year¹s passes.
Pssst — Park District — don’t forget you promised to send a letter to my family informing them that Judy Brinkworth will not be allowed in the pool this year as she is such an aquatic star, she makes everyone else so depressed they might drown. In return, I have promised that you will never again hear me yelling, “OHMIGOD, I got my hair wet, save me, save me!” Thus, “quid pro quo,” which translates as “such a deal for both of us.”