Hey wait, this fairy tale is a little close to reality
Updated: July 23, 2012 6:24AM
Here’s Judy’s pick of coming community activities in the Northbrook area, spiced with a little commentary.
Can I sue a sister Sue? Register now for a Hastey Pudding Puppet Company program for families from 10 to 11 a.m. July 7 at the Northbrook Public Library, 1201 Cedar Lane. When an evil witch Cora steals the magic yellow ribbon from her sister Hermoine, the stage is set for a gripping drama. Admission is free. To register, call (847) 272-6224.
This program is about an evil witch, Cora, who steals a ribbon from her good sister, Hermoine. Well, maybe Cora is confiscating the ribbon back from Hermoine who stole it in the first place, and it is so not fair when their mother makes Cora apologize to Hermoine. And sister Sue, if this seems familiar to you, it should, because I have never forgotten this injustice, and the only solace I have is that you are named Hermoine in this story. Ha-ha.
Dear Northbrook Park District: In regard to these pool events – just what do you mean by “wet fun and games” and “bring a sense of adventure?” If the former means I can dip a toe in the water and yelp, “Game over for Judy,” and the latter means I can adventurously patrol the pool area for possible lion attacks, then I’m your gal. Because Mr. District, although my family will join in the fun, I’m a-stayin’ dry. Sincerely, Judy “You Splash Me, You Die” Brinkworth.
French, Pig-Latin – who cares. The film “The Razor’s Edge” will be shown at 1 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. June 27 at the Northbrook Public Library, 1201 Cedar Lane. An American pilot who is traumatized by his experiences in World War I sets off in search of transcendent meaning in his life. Admission is free. For more information call (847) 272-6224.
I happen to know the movie “The Razor’s Edge” is based on W. Somerset Maugham’s 1944 novel, in which the epigraph reads, “The sharp edge of a razor is difficult to pass over; thus the wise say the path to Salvation is hard,” from a verse in the Katha-Upanishad. What? I got that on Google? Au contraire, it is one of the fascinating tidbits of information stored in Judy’s magnificent brain that … what? I’m lying? Harsh words, mon ami, but correct words, if truth be told - which it hardly ever is in this column, which is MY column — so amscray (French for get outta’ here.)
So I know this is hard to believe, but my band was not chosen as winner of the Battle of the Northbrook Youth Bands – that pesky word “Youth” disqualified us. My sisters and I valiantly maintained the word can sometimes mean “way past high school, but not yet decrepit,” but it was a no-go. Ah well, their loss. And yours, of course. Dag nab it!
Patriotic, but pushy. The annual Liberty Loop 5K Run/Walk steps off at 7:30 a.m. July 4 at Techny Prairie Park and Fields, 1750 Techny Road in Northbrook, followed by a one-mile Liberty Lap Fun Run for ages 4 through 10. Proceeds from both races will benefit the Northbrook 4th of July Association. To register, visit www.nbparks.org or call (847) 291-2980.
I have never run/walked 5 kilometers in my life, and God forbid (which He did in an e-mail) I start now, but I do want to contribute to the Northbrook 4th of July celebration, so I am volunteering to lead the parade as the Statue of Liberty — resplendent in a diamond-encrusted couture gown, paid for, of course, by the association, but without the torch and the book — perhaps sparklers and a Kindle, if requested. You’re welcome, I’m sure.