My scary circus folk would turn on each other
Updated: July 29, 2012 4:23PM
Here’s Judy’s pick of coming community activities in the Northbrook area, spiced with a little commentary.
Judy never forgets. The film “Something Wicked This Way Comes” (95 minutes) will be shown at 1 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. July 11 at the Northbrook Public Library, 1201 Cedar Lane. In a small American town, a diabolical circus and its demonic proprietor prey on the townsfolk. For more information call (847) 272-6224.
I would love to be a demonic proprietor running a diabolical circus — I’d get all the evil elephants to stomp on all the scary clowns and then rip down the terrifying trapezes so that Patsy Bain couldn’t say to me, “You Scaredy Cat, you won’t watch anything, I’m gonna tell everyone.” Which she did. I might even have the evil elephants stomp on Patsy Bain because, Patsy, wherever you are, even after all these years, I hate you.
Mercy Maud, so-o-o-o shocking. Sunshine Preschool, at 3323 Walters Ave., is a popular program for children age 5 and younger offered by the Northbrook Park District. Under the supervision of experienced instructors, young children begin to develop their minds and social skills while enjoying music, art, crafts, cooking, story time, science, sports and much more. For more information call (847) 291-2995.
While I certainly appreciate Sunshine Preschool’s goal in having young children “ … develop their minds and social skills,” what about me? Right now, my social skills consist of managing major meltdowns, as in, “Susie, dear, you musn’t throw a fork at your sister — why? — because that will make her cry and then you’ll cry, and all this sobbing will make Mommy go bananas.” As for my mind, as much as I adore Cat in the Hat, I find that having to read it 1,467 times has encroached upon my ability to read anything that’s not in rhyme — and finding “Fifty Shades of Grey” in iambic pentameter hasn’t been easy, not that I would ever read it, of course. Ever.
And/or my burnt lemon chicken. The Village Presbyterian Church, at 1300 Shermer Road in Northbrook, will be giving away free hot dogs, burgers, brats, drinks and a special dessert from 1 to 2:30 p.m. July 4. Everyone is welcome to eat and enjoy the parade. The Just Harvest Community Kitchen is co-sponsoring the event with Just BITES (Business Incubators That Encourage Sustainability), which mentors underprivileged individuals who want to start a small baking or catering business. For more information call (847) 272-0900.
Free food and a worthy cause — actually, I try this every night. I offer the food I prepare for dinner absolutely free to my family in the hopes they’ll contribute to the worthy cause of, just once, my not hearing the collective whine of, “Not your liver-tuna fish-pistachio casserole again-n-n-n.” I’m still waiting, the ingrates. Anyway, thanks, Village Presbyterian Church for hosting this — see you there.
Justifiable homicide. An Electronics Recycling Drive will take place for the Northbrook community from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. July 1 at the Torah Learning Center (TLC) of Northbrook, 2548 Jasper Court. Bring working or non-working (but not crushed or leaking) electronics to be recycled and help support TLC at the same time. For more information call (847) 272-7255.
I’m bringing a couple of electronic items to be recycled at this event – but not my former computer. The center specifies no crushed items and, yesterday, when this same computer – out of pure spite - shut down unexpectedly for the 42nd time — I killed it.
You know when the Ascot Race in England is broadcast on television, and they show the royal family and then zoom in on Kate Middleton, looking gorgeous in her cream-puff hat? This is when I ponder the following: Why is it that Judy Brinkworth isn’t Kate Middleton standing there and enjoying the races, and Kate Middleton isn’t Judy Brinkworth standing here and about to go mop the kitchen floor? My pondering elicits no answers, but you can be darn sure I’ll take this up with God if and when I get to heaven. First day.